Her's a little story I wrote, you might want to read it note for note don't worry.... be HAPPY! Okay. That's that. Here's a story I wrote in about November of 2004.
Happy Pieces of Cured Milk
By Margaret Hubert
Once upon a pond of Jell-o in a kitchen that just so happened to be right by a grocery store, there lived a bunch of cheese sticks with a problem. The problem was that they didn’t have any salsa. Now they didn’t know this because they didn’t have it but it was like there was a hole in their hearts, kind of like a doughnut. There were many of them in different levels on the social ladder. The lowest was poor Alexis. She was pitiful because she was a cross between Limburger and American cheese and these sticks lived in Cheeseland. Limburger cheese smells funny. They didn’t like Americans. She was small too. Terribly small. Kind of like dots of dust small in comparison to a T.V. remote. Her worst enemy was the terrible blend of parmesan and cheddar (in a candy cane order), or Evan. Evan was terrible and almost the size of a pen as he towered over everyone. Evan didn’t like Alexis. She was so depressing. She never jumped in a circle like the other cheeses. She had very bad body odor. She was friends with a banana named Sammy. Evan was so nice. Smooth like a piece of chocolate too. Alexis had a hole in her heart. Like a doughnut. She didn’t like doughnuts. They were bigger than she was. She knew that something was missing from her life. That something was salsa, but she didn’t know that.
One day, Alexis set out on a journey to find something. She traveled many great meters until she came upon the cheese grater of DEATH!!! This was terrible for she knew that a shredded piece of cheese was like a bear with no stomach. She ran as fast as she could but a human spotted her. He caught her and put her on display in a food circus. She liked it there because everyone else was weirder than her. One happy day, she was eaten and she went into a mouth. Then she got spit up cause she was limburger and American cheese. Very processed and that was gross.
Evan didn’t know that Alexis died. But he wanted something spicy. So he went to the grocery store. Except for, he didn’t know what to do. The floor was tile and tile has grout and grout can cause a problem when you are a piece of cheese. But that didn’t matter. He just journeyed through grout of doom. The question was how did he move? He just rolled a lot. Right as he entered the produce department. He died. He got squished by a wheel. Everyone was sad.
Finally, Fred, a piece of Romano cheese got some salsa and named it salsa because that was what was on the label. Then a human put him on a chip and put him in the intense heat of an oven. Fred died and was a puddle of cheese. The human put some salsa on him and then ate him. Fred was sad, like a piece of blue cheese.
THE END
Happy Pieces of Cured Milk
By Margaret Hubert
Once upon a pond of Jell-o in a kitchen that just so happened to be right by a grocery store, there lived a bunch of cheese sticks with a problem. The problem was that they didn’t have any salsa. Now they didn’t know this because they didn’t have it but it was like there was a hole in their hearts, kind of like a doughnut. There were many of them in different levels on the social ladder. The lowest was poor Alexis. She was pitiful because she was a cross between Limburger and American cheese and these sticks lived in Cheeseland. Limburger cheese smells funny. They didn’t like Americans. She was small too. Terribly small. Kind of like dots of dust small in comparison to a T.V. remote. Her worst enemy was the terrible blend of parmesan and cheddar (in a candy cane order), or Evan. Evan was terrible and almost the size of a pen as he towered over everyone. Evan didn’t like Alexis. She was so depressing. She never jumped in a circle like the other cheeses. She had very bad body odor. She was friends with a banana named Sammy. Evan was so nice. Smooth like a piece of chocolate too. Alexis had a hole in her heart. Like a doughnut. She didn’t like doughnuts. They were bigger than she was. She knew that something was missing from her life. That something was salsa, but she didn’t know that.
One day, Alexis set out on a journey to find something. She traveled many great meters until she came upon the cheese grater of DEATH!!! This was terrible for she knew that a shredded piece of cheese was like a bear with no stomach. She ran as fast as she could but a human spotted her. He caught her and put her on display in a food circus. She liked it there because everyone else was weirder than her. One happy day, she was eaten and she went into a mouth. Then she got spit up cause she was limburger and American cheese. Very processed and that was gross.
Evan didn’t know that Alexis died. But he wanted something spicy. So he went to the grocery store. Except for, he didn’t know what to do. The floor was tile and tile has grout and grout can cause a problem when you are a piece of cheese. But that didn’t matter. He just journeyed through grout of doom. The question was how did he move? He just rolled a lot. Right as he entered the produce department. He died. He got squished by a wheel. Everyone was sad.
Finally, Fred, a piece of Romano cheese got some salsa and named it salsa because that was what was on the label. Then a human put him on a chip and put him in the intense heat of an oven. Fred died and was a puddle of cheese. The human put some salsa on him and then ate him. Fred was sad, like a piece of blue cheese.
THE END
